Lately I have been having a harder time listening to the old man next to me snore. He snores so frickin loud. And he aims his so frickin loud snore in my direction. Like he wants to keep me up with whatever the hell is in his nose, down his throat or whatever to keep me the fuck up.
Do I seem angry? I’m not. And I do love him. This loud frickin snoring machine next to me. The one that, when awake and not snoring so frickin loud, asks me stupid questions like, "Why don’t you go to sleep?" or "Why do you always stay up so late?" or "Why are you standing over me with a pillow?"
And I know he doesn’t mean anything by it. He’s not really snoring on purpose to keep me up and not let me sleep. He’s not trying to rub it in that he can sleep through my quiet and lovely purr sound and even easily fall back asleep after his many alarms go off (when he’s not cute snoring up a frickin storm he likes to believe he can wake up at 4am to go to work early and he sets his blackberry alarm or our radio alarm to go off then he changes his mind and goes back to sleep while I am sometimes up for the rest of the night/morning/whatever–usually until about 15 minutes before I actually have to wake up.
Crap, I sound angry. I don’t mean it. I’m not angry really. I love my wonderful snoring husband. I love being married to him. I love being married. How funny is that? I was never the Marrying Kind–or so I thought. And now I am married. Happily married with only one big complaint right now and that’s the log sawing noises coming from the left side of the bed.
I love being married so much and thought a lot about it yesterday because last night I was going out with my log sawing husband to celebrate a wedding. It was a second marriage wedding which is a lot less pressure than a first marriage wedding (I think). It’s more about the marriage and less about the wedding I think. Must have been for them because I think only a few people were actually invited to the actual wedding. It was a family thing. That’s nice. Why do a bunch of non-family members really need to "see" the vows and stuff? What’s it to them anyway? And I’m saying that as someone who loves weddings and thinks they are silly and is ordained to perform them all rolled into one ball.
I wanted to give some advice to the newly married (again) couple: let yourselves go! (Hey, it worked for me and my lovely snorer.) I don’t actually mean to do that, "I got a mate so now I can be a slob, get fat, and stop waxing things I used to wax" kind of let yourself go. (It might seem that way if you know me, but I was always a slob…) I mean let yourself be loved for all of your imperfect ways. If you really love each other I think it’s ok to allow yourself to age not so gracefully, accept that things now jiggle, and let your imperfections be accepted and even caressed. And don’t forget to do the same for the other person. And if that means to accept that the other person snores louder than you thought humanly possible, just go find your earplugs if you need to or read a good book until you are so sleepy that even their snoring can’t keep you up any more.
