I Wanna…Blog Some

When ex-con and former nun reproduce.

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I’ve been tagged by my friend who is a very eclectic parent to write a six word memoir.  6 words?  Was she fucking kidding me?  First I had to set up a table in Word so that I could keep track of word count.   Then it took me twenty minutes to figure out what font and color I wanted for the headers.  How many rows or was it columns that I should make.  Did I want bold borders on just the top or all of the boxes.  Then I managed to spit out nearly twenty 6-word mini-memoirs.  Some were pretty generic:  I like to make people laugh.  So do a lot of people.  Big deal.  I kinda liked, "I am woman.  I wanna roar!"  because roar could be sexual or just mean that I want to be heard, I want to matter, etc.  And I do want to matter, be seen & heard, and I can be kinda loud when I’m…you know…

I talked to my husband about the challenge.  He wanted my 6 words to be "The coolest girl he ever met" because that’s kinda what he said that one night when his then girlfriend was passed out and I was totally flirting with him (after giving his girlfriend a lot to drink because I knew she would pass out and I could then totally flirt with him).  The initials T.C.G.I.E.M. are inscribed inside of my wedding ring for "the coolest girl I ever met."  But, I told him that if I used what he wanted it would be a biography and not an auto-biography.  He hated all of what I had written so I kept trying.  The dear even managed to come up with one for himself. 

I talked to my son about the challenge.  He was pretty quick to respond with his 6 word memoir.  And he did help me come up with one for myself and also the importance of why I needed to hurry:  "My son tried to poison me."  6 words, and the truth.  I took a bite of his snack before finding out all of the ingredients.  It was apples dipped in honey peanut butter, grape jelly, taco bell taco sauce (mild), mozzarella and parmesan cheese.  I am still alive, but might not be for long if I keep sampling his cooking.  

I talked to daughter #1.  She thought it was a great idea and wanted to try writing one.  But only if I let her type it out herself on my very lovely and delicate laptop computer that no one is allowed to touch!  When I suggested she write it out on paper first or let me type it in she stormed off.

There are rules to this tagging thing.  I am supposed to tag others.  I got my own family, but I’ll try to get a few others to try as well.   

Here’s my list:

Kristy @ Random Thoughts…she’s one of my friends from the kids’ school.  We might be totally different in some ways (she doesn’t drink, swear, she doesn’t rat her hair, she gets ill on one cigarette…), but she lets me be me and she even trusts me sometimes with her children (how was I supposed to know that Sex & The City was going to be at the very next screen at the drive in when I took the kids to see Kung Fu Panda?  Did Chloe have many questions?).

MB @ Misplaced Mama…she’s another friend that might seem very different from me.  Mostly because she is young and beautiful and likes to eat vegetables and do yoga.  And yet she’s also just as foolish.  She had her third child recently.  I think she’s learning about how much a third can kick your ass, but I know she’ll pull through.  She’s a great writer and when she’s really famous for that I will tell anyone that listens that she once baked me the best chocolate cake ever. 

I am cheating since my other tags don’t have blogs…remember, the family members?  I will just post theirs here.

Here are the rules:

1. Write your own six word memoir

2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like

3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere

4 .Tag five more blogs with links

5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

Here are the ones from my family members:

My Mom is very very crazy.

-The Boy

age 10

Fuck you, Mom.  I hate you.

-Daughter #1

age 6

(she didn’t really say this, but she

had that look in her eyes

as she stormed off)

Smell my raspberry breath mother fucker!

-Husband

(It’s from a defining moment in his life

when he was wrongfully accused of stealing

a raspberry flavored soda)