I Wanna…Blog Some

There is a list of things I just don’t get.  I mean I do understand the general concepts, but that’s about it.

Vacuum. 

Like the phrase, "You can’t live in a vacuum."  (Well, duh, and why would I want to?) 

Here’s what wikipedia says about it:  A vacuum is a volume of space that is essentially empty of matter, such that its gaseous pressure is much less than atmospheric pressure.

Huh?  If you use the word with me in some intellectual conversation just be warned that my mind is drifting off.  I’m thinking about my rotten Kenmore vacuum that barely works and I only use it when absolutely necessary, so it means my house is dirty and I’m already pissed that my house is dirty and I have to clean it and my fucking vacuum doesn’t work well.  So, you are talking about…well, whatever it is you are talking about and I’m just starting to get mad because I probably am being reminded that I should have cleaned something at my house today….Thank You Very Much!

Quid Pro Quo

I know it means tit for tat (I said tit!).  Ok, can you see here why I have trouble with this phrase?  But also…what is a quid?   Pro–short for professional, but not here, right?  And a quo?  You can say quid pro quo to me, but then I’m either thinking about tits soon after or I’m festering because it’s a phrase I associate with Republicans (not the nice ones either like my friend CBJ). 

And added to the list this week:

The difference between Volts & Amps

Thanks to my boys’ science fair project I know way too much about how not to make a battery out of quarters.  I also know that the sucky "battery" we made may have had some volts, but not enough amps to power even the smallest LED light we could find.  But I still don’t get what the fuck a volt or an amp is. 

I’m sure the list is longer.  But I’m running late already to pick kids up, drop them off, or whatever.  Ok, I guess I also don’t get why I don’t start writing until right before I have to leave for someplace.   

I think I did it!  I made a linky thing!  Here it is:   Michelle B’s 7 Random Things  Remember her #7 is related to my #1.

Now I just want to figure out how to put a youtube video and know what a "custom field" is and a "track back."  And one other thing…how do I list other people’s blogs on my blog?

Shit!  I just noticed I got tagged again for something else.  Ok…I’ll try to get to that soon.

I’m so excited!  I’ve only been doing this for what?  Like a week?  And I’ve already been tagged!  Thank you Michelle B! (Ok, I started this over a week ago.  I got stuck on #2 and couldn’t think of anything to say.) 

So…here’s 7 Random Things About Me:

1.  I used to want Birkenstocks, but since finding out that I may never want to wear cute shoes after that I don’t think I can do it.  (This was because of Michelle B’s #7 on her 7 Random Things and I’d provide a link to it, but I don’t know how to do that.  Can someone show me?)

2.  Two people that I have…um…been intimate with have pages on Wikipedia!  I love Wikipedia, so when I discovered that I was very impressed.  (I tried really hard not to take my list into the gutter, but really that’s where I live anyway so why try to run from it?  Oh, and this was the last thing I wrote until this morning.  I would be driving and think of something and then forget it.  So today I just decided to finally fucking finish!)

3.  Apparently having to write 7 random things about me causes writer’s block because I’ve been writing this for how long now?  (Boring!)

4.  This isn’t new:  I hate The Secret.  Maybe this is new:  If you tell me that you believe it then I’m sure you are blaming me for my son being sick last year.  (When will I let this go???) 

5. The Husband took the kids to school today.  So I am not dressed yet and I ate chocolate chip cookies for breakfast. (Not nearly as interesting as what I usually do when The Husband takes the kids to school, but I didn’t want to make shit up.  I really just ate cookies and started laundry.  Really!  I swear!) 

6.  I am seriously afraid that I will go into a deep dark depression next year when my youngest kid starts school full time.  I want to just rest and relax for awhile, but that could easily turn into me not getting out of bed and eating chocolate chip cookies for breakfast and lunch from August until June.  (My other plan is stay drunk for 10 days straight–like the guy in The Notebook after he finished remodeling his house.  And get The Husband all worried and then he’ll ask my friends what he should do because he thinks I have a problem and then my friends will tell him about a really nice 30 day rehab that also gives great massages!)

7.  Finally!  Who knew 7 Random Things could be so hard.  But there’s nothing new about me.  My life is an open book.  I will tell anyone nearly anything.  Just wait a few minutes and you’ll know everything there is about me and all my relatives and friends.  My friends and my family hate that about me.  I do have a vault for the really big stuff.  But if your husband accidentally went through airport security with your vibrator that you forgot you hid in a suitcase when you moved….well that is funny and it is meant to be shared!  So, my 7th Random Thing is that I am not random.  I am predictable.  I am boring.  I have built up anger and resentment towards happy people that can keep secrets or like The Secret.  There.  Done.  And out of chocolate chip cookies.  (Done!  Finally.)