"What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
- Juliet
I have resisted calling my son a "special needs" child. Mostly it is because I’m not sure what it might mean. I think he does have some special needs. But he doesn’t have as many as some other kids. He’s just him. And that happens to mean that he does take medications twice a day. And it does mean he has a diagnosis of epilepsy. And that does mean we can’t just forget that sometimes he’s been known to have a seizure even though most of the time the medication keeps them from happening. And because he’s known to have a seizure on occasion we can’t just let him go swimming, or ride his bike alone for long distances, or walk to the store alone, or whatever. We are starting to let him do more things and letting them be alone sometimes. We did get a Medical Alert Bracelet with his diagnosis and a phone number to call. But does that put him in the same category as real special needs kids? Maybe I just hate labels even though they can make things easier.
I recently learned that not only are there label options for my boy, but I have something new I can call my daughters who don’t take meds but still can’t swim alone or go hitch hiking to the mall. They also don’t have seizures or a medical alert bracelet. Boo hoo for them, right? Actually they do sometimes complain about not having epilepsy because in the past few months their brother has gotten to do some really cool things because of his epilepsy (trip to Washington D.C. and an interview on Radio Disney). But, maybe they will be a little more content knowing that even if they don’t get all the perks, they still get a name. They are called "typicals."
I learned this word "typicals" at an event for kids with "special needs" and/or illnesses to get to go up with their families in small planes or helicopters. It was a fun event for the entire family (not just the lucky ones in wheel chairs and cool stuff like autism). At this event I was at a table with my son giving out information about the local Epilepsy Foundation and their super cool camp (Camp Candlelight) and chatting with other mothers about the fun of having a kid that does quirky stuff that we wish they didn’t even if it meant giving up rides in helicopters and free snow cones. One of the mothers asked me about having other kids. And she said, "Do you have any ’typicals?’" That’s when I got really excited to have a name for the other two kids I’m in charge of rearing.
I also tried to clear up another confusing label that day. There were quite a few people at the event that were short in stature because of a medical condition AKA Little People. I am not fond of the term Little People. And I just this second figured out why. I thought it was because it made me think of kids. But no! It makes me think of Little People Toys from Fisher Price. While I was at this event I met a very friendly man who was short in stature because of a medical condition and I asked him what his preferred label was since Little People was really not a great option (in my opinion). And he told me that he did not mind at all being referred to as a Smart Ass. Now I know that I might not want to go around town and saying, "Oh look, there’s a Smart Ass" every time I run into someone who is short in stature because of a medical condition (damn, that takes so long to say and type, but it seems my best option until Fisher Price comes up with a better & more politically correct term for their short in stature because of a manufacturing decision toys.
I still may not be totally comfortable with the "special needs" label. I know I’ll get in trouble calling strangers "smart ass" just because of their height issues. But I am happy with the word "typicals" for my daughters. Even though I suspect they are anything but typical.
More from my favorite scene in Romeo and Juliet (because I have a very small portion of it memorized):
Juliet:
O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love
And I’ll no longer be a Capulet.
Romeo:
[Aside] Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?
Juliet:
‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy:
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What’s Montague? It is nor hand nor foot,
Nor arm nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O be some other name!
What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other word would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
and for thy name, which is no part of thee,
Take all myself.
Romeo And Juliet Act 2, scene 2, 33–49